September 2019 - Kelly Inselmann

Cancer’s Emotional Impact: Top 5 Areas

May 14, 2020September 29, 2019 by Kelly Inselmann

Thanks to everyone who shared their feedback in last week’s survey, Impact of Cancer Experience. It’s no secret that cancer impacts everyone in different ways, but I wanted to share the top five areas that were revealed by the survey results and share some ideas to help you address and cope with the different scenarios that may be impacting you wherever you are in your journey. .

Work – You’ll need to figure out how and if you will continue to work while you are being treated for cancer. Here are some tips to help you better manage your work life.

Set limits and realistic expectations with management, being clear about when and to what extent you will be taking time off or returning to work.
Don’t take on any extra responsibilities at work. This will further deplete your energy and add stress to what may feel more demanding than it once was.
Familiarize yourself with your employer’s leave and illness policies so you can make informed decisions about taking time off.
Find allies in the workplace and educate co-workers who you can trust to support you.
Give yourself time to recover. Find ways to breathe and relax, if you can, during the day.
Sometimes people find that they choose to return to work too quickly. If you can manage it, consider giving yourself a slow re-entry (i.e. returning less than full-time at first).

Relationships – Cancer can impact many things in your life, including your friendships, family life and marriage.

The stress of diagnosis, treatment and recovery can be hard on a marriage or committed relationship. Know that you are not alone in this. Consider reaching out for support from a marriage counselor or individual therapist.
Some people may not have the capacity to be a friend to you during this time. This can be painful. Try not to blame yourself for this.
You may find that people you barely knew become important parts of your life and that you are better for getting to know them.
Be willing to risk connecting with new people through support groups and other healthy activities.

Mood – A cancer diagnosis is a life-changing event which will undoubtedly affect your mood and it’s important to take notice of these fluctuations.

Know that shock, stress, grief, anger, fear and even terror are normal responses to the cancer experience. Know that these are not permanent states and will eventually pass.
Be open to allowing the experience to impact you instead of fighting to pretend everything is exactly the same as before. This will free you to not stuff your feelings and reach out for support.
Let your loved ones know how you are really feeling, if it’s emotionally safe to do so. Allow people to comfort you and to be with you in the struggle of what you are feeling.
Support groups can be VERY helpful for many people. Seek them out in person and online.
Make use of activities such as exercise, yoga, meditation, bodywork. Choose activities that bring pleasure to your body at a time when you may be feeling physical and emotional discomfort.
Find a good therapist and share.
If you are unable to find relief and/or worry that you might hurt yourself, please seek a consultation with a psychiatrist or therapist immediately. You are going through a lot and deserve all the support you can access.
Enjoy the moments of gratitude and contentment and appreciation that can be a part of your experience. Know that these are not permanent and don’t try to hold on to them. They will come again.

Mental Focus – Cancer treatments may cause cognitive symptoms such as a shortened attention span, difficulty thinking and short-term memory. (“cancer brain” or “chemo brain”).

Give yourself time to rest and recover.
Know that most cognitive challenges will improve once treatment ends.
Practice self compassion and patience with yourself and the process.
Find support groups.
Try meditation to improve memory and lower stress, anxiety, and and inflammation.
Even if your memory or executive functioning does not return to pre treatment standards (mine didn’t!), you are still a worthwhile person. Practice acceptance of how things are now. Get support for this if you need to-it’s hard!
Practice enjoying being “in the moment!”

How your goals and priorities may change and evolve-coming up next week.

Whether you are a cancer survivor, loved one, or oncology professional, there’s still time to let your voice be heard in the survey:

http://www.kellyinselmann.com/uncategorized/survey-on-emotional-impact-of-cancer/

Survey on Emotional Impact of Cancer

May 14, 2020September 29, 2019 by Kelly Inselmann

As I shared last week, I learn so much from you and your experiences. Whether you are also a cancer survivor, a loved one, or an oncology professional, could you do me a quick favor?

I’m about to offer my Healing Well: Reconnect with Your Life After Cancer course again and could use some feedback before I finish it up.

Would you be able to help me by answering a few quick questions based on your own hard earned experience? It should take 1-2 minutes):
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/NYLHP8B

Why Do I Do It?

May 14, 2020September 14, 2019 by Kelly Inselmann

“You have given me the strength to carry on and find happiness and light.” Suzanne Cowper

Sometimes people ask me why I want to work with cancer survivors. They wonder why it doesn’t bring me down. It may seem strange, but I usually have the opposite feeling from my work with people faced with cancer or those who have been through treatment.

I generally feel so uplifted and encouraged by the strength of the human spirit, the poignancy, the depth and the humanness we all share. I also like being with people who can deeply understand what it’s like to consciously face their own mortality and carry on, even while living a day to day existence. I get to see people experience the whole range of normal human emotions– the
shock, the fear, the anger, the ecstatic experience of the present moment, the appreciation and gratitude for the gift of life and their blessings. I get to see immense courage which always includes such touching vulnerability.

All these experiences that people have, they bring with them to the yoga mat and to counseling sessions and I get to be inspired by their courage and touched by their vulnerability. I’m deeply moved by the common humanity we share and the different stages of emotional shock, anger, fear, gratitude and wonder we all experience. I get to witness and share in people’s moments of awareness and healing no matter what is happening with the cancer in their bodies.

I had a friend who came with me often to chemo. Her prayer with me as we would begin the treatments was “Thank you for this breath. Thank you for this moment.” I hold this with me today as the highest prayer, simply to be present and aware and show gratitude for this moment, right here, right now. True healing is not the same as cure. Cure is something else. To me, healing is about coming in to reality and accepting it while maintaining appreciation of the gift of this present moment.

When faced with a life-threatening illness which draws you into a confrontation with your own physical vulnerability and mortality, your system is awakened. First, you are in shock, but then you remain very alert. You are alert to your fear, the side effects, ideas of the future, the urgency to take action, your desire to protect loved ones. More than ever, you have the opportunity to be very alert and sensitive to what is most important.

I want to be around people who have been awakened. I want to surround myself with those who, even though they would not have chosen this path, are using this path to connect to their own hearts and pulse of life. The people I’m drawn to are those who have the undeniable strength to carry on, seek happiness and light even when rummaging around in the darkness of difficult moments.

So many people have reached out to me during my husband’s illness with love, encouragement and deep understanding. They have shared their own experiences of surgery and treatment with great advice and deep empathy for my husband and me. I learn so much from the Joybooters who come to my classes and groups. I get as much energy as I give and learn at least as much as I teach from the brilliant minds and warm hearts I am connected to.

Let’s All Take a Deep Breath

May 14, 2020September 13, 2019 by Kelly Inselmann

“I feel that since my diagnosis of cancer, I’ve had an accelerated learning curve about myself and the rest of the universe.

I miss my ‘old self’ but I know that I am living life to it’s fullest and enjoying every breath.

Breath. It really is everything.”

Nancy Kirby, Austin, TX

Stopping to take a breath, focusing on long, deep breathing can support you as you move forward with your healing. You likely already know that deep breathing is the foundation of most meditation practices, but it benefits your mind and body in many ways you may not have considered.

By breathing deeply, you allow your diaphragm to relax, your rib cage to expand and create more space for the lungs to fill with life. This increases oxygen in your blood, eventually helping your heart rate to slow down, creating feelings of calmness, peace and relaxation.

Deep breathing also detoxifies your body and releases toxins. Roughly 70% of toxins in our bodies are released through our breath. Carbon dioxide, as an example, is a natural waste product of your body’s metabolic process.

So what other benefits can you experience from practicing deep breathing?

Strengthening the lymphatic system
Calming the nervous system
Lowering and stabilizing blood pressure
Reducing feelings of anxiety and stress

Now that you know how deep breathing can benefit your mind and body, let’s practice.

Sit in a comfortable position, lie flat on the floor, your bed or yoga mat- somewhere you’re comfortable.
Relax your shoulders and your back. Really tune into every part of your body to make sure you’re not feeling tension anywhere.
Breathe in through your nose until your lungs feel full. Experience the air moving through your nostrils into your abdomen, making your stomach expand.
Exhale slowly until your lungs feel deflated.
Repeat this process several times.

If you’d like to practice with me, click here.

Blessings in the Grief

May 14, 2020September 1, 2019 by Kelly Inselmann

Cancer diagnosis can bring about many challenges, and let’s face it, difficulties. Your day to day activities are interrupted, your body is affected, as are your priorities, relationships, finances and career, ability to think ahead to future events, and emotions.

Looking back, I feel fortunate that within the first week of my diagnosis 11 years ago, an experienced friend (who had been a caregiver for her husband during his brain cancer) said to me: “There will be blessings in this experience as well as difficulties.”

I remember this moment because from then on I was open to the moments of gratitude and joy, connection and surprise.

What is a blessing? Here’s one Webster’s Dictionary definition:

Blessing: a thing conducive to happiness or welfare.

One of my unexpected blessings has been this Joy Boots community-learning from you all even as I share what I have learned through yoga and psychology.

As my husband goes through his treatment, I’ve appreciated the energy, prayers, notes, and in some cases, food (thanks Nancy!) sent my way from this community. Thank you!

I send that love and appreciation back to you! I also find myself curious about the blessings you have experienced through your cancer journey, in spite of the dark moments – and in some cases because of them.