Living well with uncertainty means pulling yourself back into the present moment and appreciating the NOW.
JoyBoots for Cancer Survivors
Uncategorized
First Things First
First things first.
After you have cancer, you begin to re-think your priorities in life.
Which relationships are most important? How do you want to spend your free time? What has been left undone?
What must you say “no” to in order to say “yes” to what really matters?
You may have some physical limitations: fatigue, pain, insomnia, other side effects. You may be dealing with “chemobrain” or struggling with anxiety or depression. Making adjustments so that you can get through each day.
After cancer, I became adept at looking through my weekly calendar and crossing out non-essential activities in order to have more unscheduled down time.
Because: first things first. I need time to just “be” and not feel constantly rushed.
What will enable you to live and enjoy the best life you can? It’s a good question for everyone to ask themselves, cancer or not.
Recently, Michelle came to our weekly yoga class and shared that she was feeling well enough to get a part time job. She was very excited for the new opportunity. But, she announced, she’d taken the job on one condition. She told her boss up front that every Wednesday she had to have a little extra time for her lunch hour so she could go to yoga class. Because she’s determined to prioritize her health and emotional well being and the weekly yoga helps her do so.
First things first.
Where can you set limits in your life this week to protect your energy and free up valuable moments of your life?
What would you really like to say “yes!” to?
What is Sanctuary?
I think of a safe place, where I am welcome exactly as I am. No need for performance. I can set down my burdens and extend my legs and catch my breath.
I notice what’s happening around me because for just a moment, I can let down my guard. No need to scan for danger.
I think of entering an ancient space, with cool walls and floor and with a cozy place to lie down. I think of a community sanctioned spot, a chapel, a temple, a park, or a safe house, a friend who is always home and has something cooking.
I know the people in the sanctuary are holding a space for me and devoted to a higher consciousness than we what I live in during much of life. I know the space is one that was created for safety and for aligning with a Higher purpose that includes compassion for the human experience and reverence for the sacredness in each of us.
I have the image of grandmothers taking me in, washing my brow and comforting me, caring for my wounds. Protecting me. A place to go when no one else understands. Here, they hold space for me to love myself again. Here, I surrender the need to know what the future holds and the notion that I must be in control.
Instead, I rest in a space of openness- to learn, rest, heal, care, and be.
Emotions are Part of Being Alive
People are so afraid of their anger. They don’t want to feel it, aren’t sure how to express it and in my experience working with cancer survivors, they sure as hell don’t want others to know they have it.
Someone else might feel uncomfortable. Or start lecturing them that having anger is the reason they got diagnosed with cancer. As though anger were not a normal part of the human experience.
Let me tell you a little secret about anger, once you learn to feel it and express it in ways that are safe and healthy, you can clear out so much space inside. You get access to energy you didn’t know you had.
You may even end up making changes, setting limits or asserting yourself in important ways.
And…the space that’s created may end up being filled with a feeling of aliveness, connection to others, and even the joy and gratitude we are always hoping for.
Sanctuary Series: Liberate Yourself in our First Session
The Winter Sanctuary Series began on January 22. There’s still time to register for the next 3, view the first episode, and join the inner circle Sanctuary Series facebook page to connect and share.
All FREE.
http://www.kellyinselmann.com/winter-sanctuary-series/
Water the Root
Do one thing completely, all is done;
Try to do all, you lose the one.
To get your fill of flowers and fruit,
Water the Root.
Kabir, Poet
The Guest House
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Jellaludin Rumi
translation by Coleman Barks
Getting Real about the Impact of Cancer on Finances-a Texas Resource
When people get real about the impact of cancer on their bodies, relationships, careers, and energy, I hear amazing stories of suffering and resilience. I am always inspired by the ingenious ways people survive and how they sometimes find support in surprising places. It’s not unusual to hear that a good friend you counted on doesn’t show up for you while you are in treatment, but you are delighted by a new friend and caring connections coming from people you don’t know as well.
This week I’m sharing a guest blog post from my friend Julie Sullivan, a longtime Wednesday Wellness Warrior, who wants to get the word out about an important financial resource in Texas that some people don’t hear about. Please share this information with others who could use it.
The Story of Self Employed Artisans
I was diagnosed with breast cancer in October of 2013. (Stage IIb, ER+, HER-2+) My treatment plan included a mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiation therapy, and Herceptin therapy.
My husband and I are both self-employed artisans and our annual income is low, so I visited with the financial advisor at the large, well respected oncology center in my community to see about any financial aid resources. We were not eligible for assistance through this center because we have money in savings, own a home and have retirement savings. The financial counselor had me screened for Texas Medicaid benefits through a phone interview with a third party. I was declined due to retirement savings.
All of this was happening just before the Affordable Care Act (ACA) would go into effect in January, 2104. Then an information bombshell hit: my center (and my oncologist) would be refusing to accept insurance plans through the ACA!* For many years we had been purchasing costly private health insurance with very high deductibles. The financial relief I anticipated through the ACA was now ripped away.
Devastated, I contacted the Breast Cancer Resource Center who put me in touch with Community Action, Inc. of Central Texas, an organization that is a Breast and Cervical Cancer Services contractor authorized to accept my application for Texas Medicaid for Breast and Cervical Cancer (MBCC).
I applied and was accepted. (Applicants must go through an authorized contractor; one cannot apply directly to MBCC.)
Unlike traditional Texas Medicaid, the MBCC program allows for recipients to have retirement savings and own a home yet still receive benefits. It is income based, not asset based.
MBCC has been a financial life saver for my household.
We spent nearly $20,000 out-of-pocket (deductible and co-pays) in just those last two and half months of 2013. I knew I faced treatments throughout 2014 (Herceptin until December 2014) and reconstruction surgery in 2015. With private health insurance and no relief from an ACA plan, these expenses would have forced us to either sell our house or bankrupt our retirement savings.
Instead, throughout 2014 and 2015 my treatments and surgeries were paid for through MBCC. It also paid for an unrelated emergency appendectomy in the midst of cancer treatment!
One final, and very important point is this: Your cancer treatment provider will not screen you for MBCC, they will only screen for traditional Medicaid. You must seek this benefit on your own. (This experience taught me that providers look for the best payment options, not all the payment options.)
I hope the information from my story might benefit you or someone you know.
Texas Medicaid for Breast and Cervical Cancer
There is a lot information online about MBCC. A recipient must be an uninsured Texas resident—and also a legal U.S. resident—between the ages of 18-64 and not eligible for traditional Medicaid.
Briefly, the income requirement per household is up to 200% of the federal poverty level. Household income means all income received by any persons living under the same roof. In my case it was just my husband and me. If an applicant has a working adult child living in the home, that income would be included in the household income.
For example, for a single person this is income of $1,980 per month or $23,760. For two people, annual income of $32,040, for three it is $40,320 and so on.
Applicants must provide necessary documentation—including proof of income—and complete some paperwork.
Helpful links:
—Click on “Health Care”
—Under the Health care for women section, click on Medicaid for Breast and Cervical Cancer.”
MBCC financial eligibility requirements.
Breast Cancer Resource Center (Austin, Texas)
Community Action, Inc. of Central Texas
*My Oncology Center changed course in February, 2014, and began accepting ACA health insurance plans.
Permission Granted: Take the Time You Need to Heal
Jessica had barely finished treatment for a second bout with lung cancer when her medical leave was over and her supervisor was calling to see when she would return. Her team needed her and the supervisor was subtly probing to see if they could count on her or should look for a replacement. In truth, Jessica does not feel ready to return. She is fatigued, unable to sleep, and her memory feels unreliable. The thought of the high pressure environment with lots of deadlines and expectations feels overwhelming. She thinks she can negotiate another few months away, but feels “guilty” for not being ready to return. She tells herself to be grateful she has a job and worries others will think she’s a “complainer.”
Angelica has 2 children under 12. She’s 6 months post treatment for breast cancer. A lot of people helped her when she was “sick” but now that she’s “cured” her family and friends expect her to be fully recovered. They only want her to think “positive.” She feels pulled to volunteer for every school and church activity, to be emotionally present for her children at all times since they were fearful about losing her, and she wants to show her gratitude for life by saying yes to everything. But she’s exhausted. And she finds herself angry and resentful that no one understands she still has pain, side effects, and fatigue.
Dori is a single mom to her 17 year old son and works as a waitress. Her son wants to get a part time job to help with bills but Dori has ben reluctant to agree, fearing it will keep him from his studies. Dori ‘s cancer has spread and she worries about losing her health insurance because of pre-existing condition. She hasn’t let family of friends know how hard it is to make ends meet because she hates “bothering people” by asking for help.
Permission #1
Give yourself permission to take the time you need to heal.
Ask for what you need.
Don’t rush. You don’t have to immediately be back to full “productiveness.” Your body and your mind have been surviving a shock and trauma. Don’t underestimate the impact it’s had. Don’t over schedule or push yourself.
Try this Affirmation:
I am gentle with myself. I am still healing. I am taking the time I need.
I Think It’s Brave
I Think It’s Brave
i think it’s brave
i think it’s brave that you get up in the morning even if your soul is weary and your bones ache for a rest
i think it’s brave that you keep on living
even if you don’t know how to anymore
i think it’s brave that you push away the waves rolling in every day
and you decide to fight
i know there are days when you feel like giving up but
i think it’s brave
that you never do
by Lana Rafaela
