About 10 days ago, something happened to a loved one that scared and shocked me. It was a life or death situation and I was far away.
The good news is they are perfectly fine, but I didn’t know that for about seven hours, one of which I was driving in the dark to the hospital.
I’m not sharing the details for this person’s privacy. But I will talk about how it affected me! It took me right back to some of my worst moments and memories.
You know those times when you are in fight or flight mode and can’t even articulate a thought?
Once it was over, and I knew they were safe, I found myself frozen. I couldn’t talk about it for several days and I mostly felt numb.
In a short period of time, it really mirrored every other experience I’d had with great fear and loss (or the possibility of it).
Moving my body helped. I forced myself to take some short walks, stretch, and even made it to swim laps.
I tracked how out-of-my-body-and-mind I felt.
What pulls us away from being present?
Fear of loss, fear of what’s around the corner.
Now that things have evened out in my life for the moment, I’m back to recognizing other ways and reasons I abandon myself in the present moment.
I have fear about the election. Along with a host of other feelings: sadness, anger, hope.
And in addition to the election, I know JoyBooters who are contending with cancer or with loved one’s illnesses, or any of life’s other curveballs, are managing some sort of fear.
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