Here’s to Scruffiness

I’m sitting in the large espresso colored leather chair that I’ve had in my living room for at least 15 years.

It’s scruffy now. I love my living room. I love the colors and all the rugs and “object as art” pieces my husband, Chiddi, has in here. I feel so happy and like my life has been a beautiful success when I look around.

The clutter of course is an always issue. But I have also felt so much joy.

Thank goodness I’ve also been able to tolerate wading around in the muck of things. Because to have a big, full life, you have to be willing to go through a few things.

That’s where the idea of JoyBoots comes from. Get it? In life, there is ”Joy” but you also have to willing to put your boots on and get them boots on the ground.

It felt so nice to be share uninhibitedly last week and to hear how not alone I am.

It helps to remember that “not being ok” is not a moral failing. In fact, our very discomfort with how things are is an important signal.

Like it or not, we are in it together.

We are hard wired to care about what happens to others. We are supposed to object to unjust firings, roundups of other humans, deliberate sabotage of the economy, and government refusal to abide by the law.

There are all kinds of antidotes to help you get grounded and soothe your nervous system so that from a calmer place you can decide what action, if any, is yours to take. I teach about some of these in my individual and group sessions.

To keep reading, consider being a JoyBoots subscriber.


Joy Boots for Cancer Survivors

Encouragement, companionship, community and support for cancer survivors.

Oh Merciful Modern Medicine! Are you on the Chopping Block?

Prior to being diagnosed with cancer in 2007, I was one of those people who said I’d NEVER do chemo. To voluntarily put these dangerous chemicals in your body? Well, first of all, I’d never need such a thing. I had been practicing yoga and healthy eating for 15 years. I meditated for at least an hour everyday and swore by it. I had begun integrating yoga and meditation into my work as a psychotherapist in the form of retreats, workshops, groups, and classes.

In fact, I remember being pregnant and teaching a class about “breast health” and the importance of self massage using sesame or coconut oil to keep the lymphatic system strong.

In October of 2007, I had a beautiful home birth. There was a birthing pool in my dining room, relaxing mantra music playing, and an experienced midwife who had helped birth hundreds of healthy babies. It wasn’t pain free, but it was magical. My husband was there every moment of the day, not leaving even when he was getting on my nerves. Our long relationship and recent experiences with partner meditations helped us be relaxed and in sync. We could laugh and yell and also trust. Each other and the process. It was one of the peak moments of my life.

Then, two months later, I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Breast Cancer.

I sought treatment at MD Anderson in Houston. Not just because it’s considered the best cancer hospital in the country. It is also a 5 minute drive from my parent’s house to the front door of the hospital entrance and they offered to help care for my daughter while I received treatment.

To keep reading, consider being a JoyBoots subscriber.


Joy Boots for Cancer Survivors

Encouragement, companionship, community and support for cancer survivors.

The Dream and the Dollar

In 2023 I attended a fundraiser for the Central Texas Food bank and in a moment of dissociation from my bank account, I bid on a week at a resort in Mexico. I won, along with a whole bunch of other people, because it turned out that they were that they had a lot of vouchers to promote the place.

Finally, last week, I went to the resort near Cancun. Taking my 17-year-old daughter and her friend who were very excited to be able to take lots of photos on Spring Break and share them on social media like their friends were doing.

Last Monday, we picked up my daughter‘s friend and drove 2 1/2 hours to Houston, where my sister kindly gave us a ride to the airport. Airline ticket prices have gone up so high that it was hundreds of dollars less expensive to fly out of Houston than to try to make awkward flight connections starting in Austin where we live.

We arrived and checked in to a beautiful spot. It had been 25 years since I had last been to Mexico. As a child, my parents loved Mexico and we went with church groups to Cozumel several times, and my family would also stay in old colonial hotels in the interior. Hotels in Mexico taught me that true luxury is staying in a historic and beautifully crafted building where you can walk straight down the stairs and right down a path onto a beautiful beach. It was old school luxury. Nothing technological, but beautifully maintained rustic spaces and great service and lots of beauty. And the sea and the pool, which for me as a lover of all things water (being a true Pisces), is my absolute favorite.

To keep reading, consider being a JoyBoots subscriber.


Joy Boots for Cancer Survivors

Encouragement, companionship, community and support for cancer survivors.

In and Out of Joy

I’m sitting in the large espresso colored leather chair that I’ve had in my living room for at least 15 years.

It’s scruffy now. I love my living room. I love the colors and all the rugs and “object as art” pieces my husband, Chiddi, has in here. I feel so happy and like my life has been a beautiful success when I look around.

The clutter of course is an always issue. But I have also felt so much joy.

Thank goodness I’ve also been able to tolerate wading around in the muck of things. Because to have a big, full life, you have to be willing to go through a few things.

That’s where the idea of JoyBoots comes from. Get it? In life, there is ”Joy” but you also have to willing to put your boots on and get them boots on the ground.

It felt so nice to be share uninhibitedly last week and to hear how not alone I am.

It helps to remember that “not being ok” is not a moral failing. In fact, our very discomfort with how things are is an important signal.

Like it or not, we are in it together.

To keep reading, consider being a JoyBoots subscriber.


Joy Boots for Cancer Survivors

Encouragement, companionship, community and support for cancer survivors.

Turns out, a lot of you aren’t ok either

I got a lot of response to Monday’s post It’s ok to say I’m not ok with it.

Wow, it really does help to know you are not alone! More evidence of the power of being in groups, expressing your feelings and feeling more connected. Even therapists need to be reminded that it works.

Drop in this evening for JoyBoots Yoga at 6pm CT. It’s not just for cancer survivors and loved ones. All are welcome.

Email me at kellyinselmanntherapy@gmail.com for the link if you don’t have it.

To keep reading, consider being a JoyBoots subscriber.


Joy Boots for Cancer Survivors

Encouragement, companionship, community and support for cancer survivors.

It’s OK to say “I’m not ok with it…”

This past week, I was NOT ok with it.

Here’s what I was not ok with:

  • The situation of the US in the world:
  • Betrayal of Ukraine and allying with Russia
  • Leaving NATO
  • Firing federal workers by the thousands with no plan for effects on people or the economy.
  • Musk, an unelected person with massive conflicts of interest, billions in government subsidies, and no government training or security clearance, being in charge of sensitive and private information to do with as he pleases without oversight
  • The firing of people of color across many industries and the threats against fairness and inclusion.
  • Tariffs and belligerence towards all our allies.
  • That my country was going to double down on the worst of our nature and history-imperialism, exploitation, and oppression and renounce all pretense of representative democracy and civil society.
  • That a lot of people don’t understand history or don’t care.

I was also inspired by this piece by Andrew Sullivan, Bully in his Pulpit, and how he says he wasn’t ok, to share my own version with you.

Personally, I’m also not ok with not knowing whether my daughter can or will go to a college that’s a good fit for her. Not knowing whether we will lose all our money from social security, investments and savings for college.

I’m not ok with not knowing if there will even BE college.

As my friend Cari said, “Well, there will probably be some sort of college. It might not be what we expected.”

I’m tired of things called unexpected and “unprecedented” when they are actually damaging people and society.

Also, it was my birthday. Which has more than once been a time of emotional regression for me. Tears at the Table

To keep reading, consider being a JoyBoots subscriber.


Joy Boots for Cancer Survivors

Encouragement, companionship, community and support for cancer survivors.

I sat with my hand on my heart

I sat with my hand on my heart. Taking a dose of my own medicine. Sitting with the feelings I have and offering myself compassion.


Compassion for the pain of sadness, loss, and anger. For the feeling of powerlessness. And for how very difficult it is to feel these things.


Mostly, I busy myself to avoid these types of feelings. And I know you try to as well. But there’s something transformative about sitting with the experience you are having and loving yourself through it.


If you are a cancer survivor or caregiver, you are invited to join the JoyBooters Yoga and Meditation class any Wednesday at 6pm CT – you are welcome no matter where you are in the world or in your experience of cancer. Meaning newly diagnosed, or years out of treatment. Free for paid subscribers.

To keep reading, consider being a JoyBoots subscriber.


Joy Boots for Cancer Survivors

Encouragement, companionship, community and support for cancer survivors.

Musings on recurring nightmares, Betsy Ross outfits, and ballet school

There is a young and childlike, nostalgic, even primitive part of myself, that wants to wrap up in the American flag. I don’t have a message to write on a sign for the march against the rise of fascism, against the lack of oversight over Musk, and the abdication of American values. I usually love coming up with something to put on a sign. But it feels too tiring now.

Our country’s need for saving feels too primitive. My mind goes back to movies I saw as a child where someone was escaping a dangerous situation and, whether they were American or not, would see the American flag and know that they would be safe. Especially if they were American, of course, but also if they were from some other country. They would know that they be treated according to the rule of law. At least in the movies.

I was not raised in a time of false patriotism. I went to a public elementary school in Houston, Texas in the early 70s.

There were lots of kids who, according to their religion or whatever the family belief system was, maybe Jehovah Witness, maybe something else, didn’t believe in saying the Pledge of Allegiance and so they sat through that part. I do not remember there being any stigma attached to that. In fact, I think we learned it was a source of pride. We were free to make our own choices. In the 70s, the time of true idealism and hope for a better government had passed. Nixon resigned. Vietnam was over. It hadn’t gone well and the veterans we saw everywhere didn’t seem to be doing too well either.

People were adjusting and doing what they could to work hard. It was before the scourge of crack cocaine. School integration had just begun and in the schools I attended it was going pretty well.

Every fourth of July for about 10 years, my family would host a party in our backyard (on Watts St. near Rice Village) and invite all the neighbors and friends. It was very exciting for me because everybody came over to our house and we got to run wild up and down hot sidewalks and into the street, playing until very late while all the people we knew and loved, sat on our wooden backyard deck and laughed.

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Joy Boots for Cancer Survivors

Encouragement, companionship, community and support for cancer survivors.

Can’t See the Path for the Fog

Last week in Austin we had several days where the fog hung low. Everything was gray, including my mood.

What was fogging my mind?

The effort it was taking to avoid listening to the news, one story after another about misguided “executive” orders that I know as a social worker are going to hurt very real people trying to live their lives with dignity and self respect.

Whether it’s cutting federal funds (university professors, veterans, disabled children who receive special education services) immigrants caught up in indiscriminate and inhumane actions, the removal of civil and labor rights protections at a federal level, and a list of other impulsive and destructive actions. Not to mention seeing nazi salutes performed without censure on huge national platforms.

My mind was foggy from the feelings I was trying not to have. Rage, disbelief, deep disappointment in people, fear for my daughter’s future, and wondering about the point of going through the motions of regular life when things seem on the verge of collapse.

My family’s day to day struggles from the cancer experience suddenly seemed less prominent to me.

To keep reading, consider being a JoyBoots subscriber.


Joy Boots for Cancer Survivors

Encouragement, companionship, community and support for cancer survivors.

Invitation to Join JoyBoots Yoga and Talk Community

JoyBoots for Cancer Survivors is a program at the intersection of mental health, emotional wellness and the cancer experience.

I have 30 years of experience helping people recover from anxiety, depression, and trauma, and 17 years as a cancer survivor and caregiver.

As a clinical social worker and yoga therapist in private practice in Austin Texas I’ve offered cancer survivors yoga classes and therapy groups on a weekly basis for 15 years.

Join me in this JoyBoots community re-boot. No matter where you are in your own cancer or caregiving experience-whether 20 years out from treatment, or recently diagnosed-there is something for you in my 6 Principles for Emotional Health and Healing that I share in class and in posts.

Paid Subscribers (6$/month) have access to live JoyBoots Yoga and meditation classes on Wednesdays at 6pm CT (and recording).

To keep reading, consider being a JoyBoots subscriber.


Joy Boots for Cancer Survivors

Encouragement, companionship, community and support for cancer survivors.