Kelly Inselmann

Kelly Inselmann has worked as a Psychotherapist and Yoga Teacher integrating the practices of therapy and yoga through her clinical work for 15 years. She has extensive training in individual and group psychotherapy. Prior to beginning her private practice in 1998, she worked with trauma victims through a variety of non-profit and local government agencies. As a yoga teacher she holds both a 500 Hour Yoga Teacher Certification and an International 200 Hour Kundalini Yoga Teacher Certification, and she has been a Yoga Alliance member since 2002. In addition, she is a registered Yoga Therapist (500 level). She is the founder of the Yoga and Talk™ therapy model and has offered group programs since 2002 to a variety of demographic groups including adolescent girls, adult women, children in the schools, people in recovery, and cancer survivors. Kelly lives in Austin, Texas with her husband and daughter.

What is Sanctuary?

March 5, 2019March 4, 2019 by Kelly Inselmann

I think of a safe place, where I am welcome exactly as I am. No need for performance. I can set down my burdens and extend my legs and catch my breath.

I notice what’s happening around me because for just a moment, I can let down my guard. No need to scan for danger.

I think of entering an ancient space, with cool walls and floor and with a cozy place to lie down. I think of a community sanctioned spot, a chapel, a temple, a park, or a safe house, a friend who is always home and has something cooking.

I know the people in the sanctuary are holding a space for me and devoted to a higher consciousness than we what I live in during much of life. I know the space is one that was created for safety and for aligning with a Higher purpose that includes compassion for the human experience and reverence for the sacredness in each of us.

I have the image of grandmothers taking me in, washing my brow and comforting me, caring for my wounds. Protecting me. A place to go when no one else understands. Here, they hold space for me to love myself again. Here, I surrender the need to know what the future holds and the notion that I must be in control.

Instead, I rest in a space of openness- to learn, rest, heal, care, and be.

Can I get a Witness?

April 9, 2024February 18, 2019 by Kelly Inselmann

When I was in the middle of chemo, I looked in the mirror with great curiosity. Sometimes shocked. Sometimes incredulous.

“This is me?”

No hair, no eyebrows, deep pain and fatigue. But also beauty, depth, surviving against the odds, making it through each day even when there was fear or suffering.

I hadn’t spent much time in front of the mirror before, barely wearing makeup, and not interested in the latest fashions. But now I did.

And I could see my soul.

I had no outer defenses. Sometimes I would cry at how changed I was on the outside. Deep lines had appeared out of nowhere and there were dark circles under my eyes.

But I also felt great empathy and love for this Self I was looking at. How amazing her life experience was and how hard she was trying.

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You go through cancer alone.

Even if you have supportive community around you, which I did, there are still many moments that you feel profound aloneness. Everyone else’s life is going on around you. But you are going through uncertainty, procedures, tests, waiting for results, blood draws, infusions, surgery, radiation, medications, hiding your fear and fatigue so you can still participate in parts of your life.

After treatment, when the “emergency” is over for everyone else, you move forward with side effects, both physical and emotional.

And if you are in ongoing treatment? My understanding is that your aloneness can become a companion.

You feel most alone when you feel marginalized. When you are trying to hide your anger, feelings of loss at “what was,” and fear of death, so as not to make others feel uncomfortable.

In my online Winter Sanctuary Series session, I shared that when trauma occurs, you feel fragmented.

Fragmentation happens when feelings get pushed aside in favor of survival. Parts of your experience are forgotten, the changes in your body create unfamiliar and unwelcome sensations. Your identity shifts as well as your sense of who you are.

As uncomfortable as it is, fragmentation is a normal response to a traumatic, life threatening experience.

The problem is that you don’t always re-integrate.

And Integration = Healing

What does “integrated” feel like?

Settled. You have access to your emotions (i.e.you don’t feel numb). You are more in charge of how you act and react. You can talk about your experience in a coherent way.

What creates a feeling of integration?

Feeling truly seen, heard and witnessed by a caring other person is one way. Personal reflection through meditation is another. Both of these invite “the witness.” When you include others, they are your witness. When you are meditating and/or being the observer of your own experience, you are your own witness.

A feeling of compassion, either from another human or from yourself, are key ingredients of Integration.

This may be controversial, but I would submit that you cannot truly recover emotionally and feel whole and integrated UNLESS you are seen and heard and feel cared about and understood.

You can survive, yes. But we are social creatures and to really thrive, you need people and places to be yourself and connect more deeply.

Who is this new person you are becoming? How will you integrate the different parts of yourself? Where can you open and be witnessed in your pain and joy, change and growth?

Ripen Your Potential Through Mantra

April 9, 2024February 10, 2019 by Kelly Inselmann

Do you ever feel like you are losing yourself by being overly focused on what others want from you?

How do you remember to take a breath, feel grounded in the present moment, and act from your most authentic self?

Mantra, it’s sound and meaning, can be an easy and effective tool.

Sat Nam is a mantra from kundalini yoga practice which translates as True Self or Truth is my Identity. I say this to myself several times a day to direct my mind to focus on what is essential in this moment.

Inhaling, I think Sat. Exhaling, I think Nam.

When I meet a new client, speak to my daughter’s teacher, connect with a friend, bring up a difficulty with my husband, I remind myself to focus on the Higher Truth of this moment, which I can enjoy more if I feel grounded and compassionate towards myself and others.

Sat Nam reminds me that I’m not in control of the behavior of others.

Feeling grounded and connected to your sense of Self is an important concept for everyone, but can be especially useful to cancer survivors. To continue prioritizing your own healing, you have to be willing to put your own physical and emotional needs NEAR the top of your list if not at the very top!

I often hear from clients and yoga students that Sat Nam is a practice they carry with them.

Jennifer shared that she says it to herself as she swims laps, moving in the rhythm of her backstroke, creating her own meditation in the pool.

Leslie reminds herself of Sat Nam as she goes through medical procedures and has to keep still. It’s a relaxing mental focus and reminds her of the wellbeing, feeling grounded, and self acceptance she experiences after yoga class.

Anna has always been shy and reluctant to assert herself with her husband and family members, preferring peace (or at least no conflict) to talking about her needs, ideas, and opinions. But at what cost to her? After her experience with cancer, she decided to make some changes. Recently she has begun taking a deep breath, thinking Sat Nam, and then taking the “scary risk” to speak her mind more often. She’s been shocked at the willingness of others to listen and care about what she needs.

Sat Nam reminds you of the path of assertion and healthy boundaries.

Mantra is a tool to cut through automatic thoughts and momentarily choose a neutral mindset that is non judgmental and open to possibilities.

My teacher Dr. Gurucharan Khalsa said, “Everything in the world makes a sound. The question is: Who is in charge of the sound?”

When you recite mantra, you vibrate the sound of your own voice in the present moment. When you speak your truth and assert yourself, your voice has an impact.

Ancient sound technology in the form of mantra in Sanskrit or Gurmukhi, has many benefits:

Stimulates the vagus nerve to help you relax.
Helps your mind focus on an uplifting message.
Your tongue touches meridian points in the upper palate which correspond to the brain and glandular system and create a state of emotional wellbeing.
Activates the frontal lobe of the brain which controls emotional stability, executive functioning, and compassion for yourself and others.
The vibration itself creates chemical changes in the brain which help the body and mind feel peaceful and even blissful.
From a spiritual perspective, chanting helps you align with the Divine in yourself and in the universe.
Interrupts the negative thoughts or worries that may be on “auto-pilot” and transforms your state of mind.
For people with PTSD, high anxiety or a trauma history, meditating with mantra can be an easier way to practice meditation because it gives your mind something to focus on and interrupts negative cycles of thinking.
Studies show that mantra meditation can help lower inflammation in the body (Kirtan Kriya, UCLA Study)
Can improve memory, sleep, and symptoms of depression and anxiety.

The ancient sages describe Mantra as a seed, which when ripe, flowers the Divine within you.

Emotions are Part of Being Alive

May 14, 2020February 4, 2019 by Kelly Inselmann

People are so afraid of their anger. They don’t want to feel it, aren’t sure how to express it and in my experience working with cancer survivors, they sure as hell don’t want others to know they have it.

Someone else might feel uncomfortable. Or start lecturing them that having anger is the reason they got diagnosed with cancer. As though anger were not a normal part of the human experience.

Let me tell you a little secret about anger, once you learn to feel it and express it in ways that are safe and healthy, you can clear out so much space inside. You get access to energy you didn’t know you had.

You may even end up making changes, setting limits or asserting yourself in important ways.

And…the space that’s created may end up being filled with a feeling of aliveness, connection to others, and even the joy and gratitude we are always hoping for.

Sanctuary Series: Liberate Yourself in our First Session

January 24, 2019 by Kelly Inselmann

The Winter Sanctuary Series began on January 22. There’s still time to register for the next 3, view the first episode, and join the inner circle Sanctuary Series facebook page to connect and share.

All FREE.

http://www.kellyinselmann.com/winter-sanctuary-series/

Water the Root

January 6, 2019 by Kelly Inselmann

Do one thing completely, all is done;

Try to do all, you lose the one.

To get your fill of flowers and fruit,

Water the Root.

Kabir, Poet

The Guest House

December 3, 2018 by Kelly Inselmann

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Jellaludin Rumi
translation by Coleman Barks

Getting Real about the Impact of Cancer on Finances-a Texas Resource

May 14, 2020November 11, 2018 by Kelly Inselmann

When people get real about the impact of cancer on their bodies, relationships, careers, and energy, I hear amazing stories of suffering and resilience. I am always inspired by the ingenious ways people survive and how they sometimes find support in surprising places. It’s not unusual to hear that a good friend you counted on doesn’t show up for you while you are in treatment, but you are delighted by a new friend and caring connections coming from people you don’t know as well.

This week I’m sharing a guest blog post from my friend Julie Sullivan, a longtime Wednesday Wellness Warrior, who wants to get the word out about an important financial resource in Texas that some people don’t hear about. Please share this information with others who could use it.

The Story of Self Employed Artisans

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in October of 2013. (Stage IIb, ER+, HER-2+) My treatment plan included a mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiation therapy, and Herceptin therapy.

My husband and I are both self-employed artisans and our annual income is low, so I visited with the financial advisor at the large, well respected oncology center in my community to see about any financial aid resources. We were not eligible for assistance through this center because we have money in savings, own a home and have retirement savings. The financial counselor had me screened for Texas Medicaid benefits through a phone interview with a third party. I was declined due to retirement savings.

All of this was happening just before the Affordable Care Act (ACA) would go into effect in January, 2104. Then an information bombshell hit: my center (and my oncologist) would be refusing to accept insurance plans through the ACA!* For many years we had been purchasing costly private health insurance with very high deductibles. The financial relief I anticipated through the ACA was now ripped away.

Devastated, I contacted the Breast Cancer Resource Center who put me in touch with Community Action, Inc. of Central Texas, an organization that is a Breast and Cervical Cancer Services contractor authorized to accept my application for Texas Medicaid for Breast and Cervical Cancer (MBCC).

I applied and was accepted. (Applicants must go through an authorized contractor; one cannot apply directly to MBCC.)

Unlike traditional Texas Medicaid, the MBCC program allows for recipients to have retirement savings and own a home yet still receive benefits. It is income based, not asset based.

MBCC has been a financial life saver for my household.

We spent nearly $20,000 out-of-pocket (deductible and co-pays) in just those last two and half months of 2013. I knew I faced treatments throughout 2014 (Herceptin until December 2014) and reconstruction surgery in 2015. With private health insurance and no relief from an ACA plan, these expenses would have forced us to either sell our house or bankrupt our retirement savings.

Instead, throughout 2014 and 2015 my treatments and surgeries were paid for through MBCC. It also paid for an unrelated emergency appendectomy in the midst of cancer treatment!

One final, and very important point is this: Your cancer treatment provider will not screen you for MBCC, they will only screen for traditional Medicaid. You must seek this benefit on your own. (This experience taught me that providers look for the best payment options, not all the payment options.)

I hope the information from my story might benefit you or someone you know.

Texas Medicaid for Breast and Cervical Cancer

There is a lot information online about MBCC. A recipient must be an uninsured Texas resident—and also a legal U.S. resident—between the ages of 18-64 and not eligible for traditional Medicaid.

Briefly, the income requirement per household is up to 200% of the federal poverty level. Household income means all income received by any persons living under the same roof. In my case it was just my husband and me. If an applicant has a working adult child living in the home, that income would be included in the household income.

For example, for a single person this is income of $1,980 per month or $23,760. For two people, annual income of $32,040, for three it is $40,320 and so on.

Applicants must provide necessary documentation—including proof of income—and complete some paperwork.

Helpful links:

Texas Benefits website

—Click on “Health Care”

—Under the Health care for women section, click on Medicaid for Breast and Cervical Cancer.”

MBCC financial eligibility requirements.

Breast Cancer Resource Center (Austin, Texas)

Community Action, Inc. of Central Texas

*My Oncology Center changed course in February, 2014, and began accepting ACA health insurance plans.

Permission Granted: Take the Time You Need to Heal

November 5, 2018November 5, 2018 by Kelly Inselmann

Jessica had barely finished treatment for a second bout with lung cancer when her medical leave was over and her supervisor was calling to see when she would return. Her team needed her and the supervisor was subtly probing to see if they could count on her or should look for a replacement. In truth, Jessica does not feel ready to return. She is fatigued, unable to sleep, and her memory feels unreliable. The thought of the high pressure environment with lots of deadlines and expectations feels overwhelming. She thinks she can negotiate another few months away, but feels “guilty” for not being ready to return. She tells herself to be grateful she has a job and worries others will think she’s a “complainer.”

Angelica has 2 children under 12. She’s 6 months post treatment for breast cancer. A lot of people helped her when she was “sick” but now that she’s “cured” her family and friends expect her to be fully recovered. They only want her to think “positive.” She feels pulled to volunteer for every school and church activity, to be emotionally present for her children at all times since they were fearful about losing her, and she wants to show her gratitude for life by saying yes to everything. But she’s exhausted. And she finds herself angry and resentful that no one understands she still has pain, side effects, and fatigue.

Dori is a single mom to her 17 year old son and works as a waitress. Her son wants to get a part time job to help with bills but Dori has ben reluctant to agree, fearing it will keep him from his studies. Dori ‘s cancer has spread and she worries about losing her health insurance because of pre-existing condition. She hasn’t let family of friends know how hard it is to make ends meet because she hates “bothering people” by asking for help.

Permission #1

Give yourself permission to take the time you need to heal.

Ask for what you need.

Don’t rush. You don’t have to immediately be back to full “productiveness.” Your body and your mind have been surviving a shock and trauma. Don’t underestimate the impact it’s had. Don’t over schedule or push yourself.

Try this Affirmation:

I am gentle with myself. I am still healing. I am taking the time I need.

Feeling and Healing

April 9, 2024October 1, 2018 by Kelly Inselmann

You gotta feel to heal!

It’s important to allow yourself to feel it all, express it all and to be heard, understood, and validated.

These are the ways you release tension and pain, understand yourself better, feel relief, grow, and begin to really LIVE again.

Check out this guided mantra meditation for tips on allowing and working with the feelings that emerge:

Mantra Meditation and Feelings