The Guest House

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Jellaludin Rumi
translation by Coleman Barks

 

Getting Real about the Impact of Cancer on Finances-a Texas Resource

When people get real about the impact of cancer on their bodies, relationships, careers, and energy, I hear amazing stories of suffering and resilience.  I am always inspired by the ingenious ways people survive and how they sometimes find support in surprising places.  It’s not unusual to hear that a good friend you counted on doesn’t show up for you while you are in treatment, but you are delighted by a new friend and caring connections coming from people you don’t know as well.

This week I’m sharing a guest blog post from my friend Julie Sullivan, a longtime Wednesday Wellness Warrior, who wants to get the word out about an important financial resource in Texas that some people don’t hear about.  Please share this information with others who could use it.

The Story of Self Employed Artisans 

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in October of 2013. (Stage IIb, ER+, HER-2+) My treatment plan included a mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiation therapy, and Herceptin therapy.

My husband and I are both self-employed artisans and our annual income is low, so I visited with the financial advisor at the large, well respected oncology center in my community to see about any financial aid resources. We were not eligible for assistance through this center because we have money in savings, own a home and have retirement savings. The financial counselor had me screened for Texas Medicaid benefits through a phone interview with a third party. I was declined due to retirement savings.

All of this was happening just before the Affordable Care Act (ACA) would go into effect in January, 2104. Then an information bombshell hit: my center (and my oncologist) would be refusing to accept insurance plans through the ACA!* For many years we had been purchasing costly private health insurance with very high deductibles. The financial relief I anticipated through the ACA was now ripped away.

Devastated, I contacted the Breast Cancer Resource Center who put me in touch with Community Action, Inc. of Central Texas, an organization that is a Breast and Cervical Cancer Services contractor authorized to accept my application for Texas Medicaid for Breast and Cervical Cancer (MBCC).

I applied and was accepted. (Applicants must go through an authorized contractor; one cannot apply directly to MBCC.)

Unlike traditional Texas Medicaid, the MBCC program allows for recipients to have retirement savings and own a home yet still receive benefits. It is income based, not asset based.

MBCC has been a financial life saver for my household.

We spent nearly $20,000 out-of-pocket (deductible and co-pays) in just those last two and half months of 2013. I knew I faced treatments throughout 2014 (Herceptin until December 2014) and reconstruction surgery in 2015. With private health insurance and no relief from an ACA plan, these expenses would have forced us to either sell our house or bankrupt our retirement savings.

Instead, throughout 2014 and 2015 my treatments and surgeries were paid for through MBCC. It also paid for an unrelated emergency appendectomy in the midst of cancer treatment!

One final, and very important point is this: Your cancer treatment provider will not screen you for MBCC, they will only screen for traditional Medicaid. You must seek this benefit on your own. (This experience taught me that providers look for the best payment options, not all the payment options.)

I hope the information from my story might benefit you or someone you know.

Texas Medicaid for Breast and Cervical Cancer

There is a lot information online about MBCC. A recipient must be an uninsured Texas resident—and also a legal U.S. resident—between the ages of 18-64 and not eligible for traditional Medicaid.

Briefly, the income requirement per household is up to 200% of the federal poverty level. Household income means all income received by any persons living under the same roof. In my case it was just my husband and me. If an applicant has a working adult child living in the home, that income would be included in the household income.

For example, for a single person this is income of $1,980 per month or $23,760. For two people, annual income of $32,040, for three it is $40,320 and so on.

Applicants must provide necessary documentation—including proof of income—and complete some paperwork.

Helpful links:

Texas Benefits website

—Click on “Health Care”

—Under the Health care for women section, click on Medicaid for Breast and Cervical Cancer.”

MBCC financial eligibility requirements.

Breast Cancer Resource Center (Austin, Texas)

Community Action, Inc. of Central Texas

*My Oncology Center changed course in February, 2014, and began accepting ACA health insurance plans.

Permission Granted: Take the Time You Need to Heal

Jessica had barely finished treatment for a second bout with lung cancer when her medical leave was over and her supervisor was calling to see when she would return. Her team needed her and the supervisor was subtly probing to see if they could count on her or should look for a replacement. In truth, Jessica does not feel ready to return. She is fatigued, unable to sleep, and her memory feels unreliable. The thought of the high pressure environment with lots of deadlines and expectations feels overwhelming. She thinks she can negotiate another few months away, but feels “guilty” for not being ready to return. She tells herself to be grateful she has a job and worries others will think she’s a “complainer.”

Angelica has 2 children under 12. She’s 6 months post treatment for breast cancer. A lot of people helped her when she was “sick” but now that she’s “cured” her family and friends expect her to be fully recovered. They only want her to think “positive.” She feels pulled to volunteer for every school and church activity, to be emotionally present for her children at all times since they were fearful about losing her, and she wants to show her gratitude for life by saying yes to everything. But she’s exhausted. And she finds herself angry and resentful that no one understands she still has pain, side effects, and fatigue.

Dori is a single mom to her 17 year old son and works as a waitress. Her son wants to get a part time job to help with bills but Dori has ben reluctant to agree, fearing it will keep him from his studies. Dori ‘s cancer has spread and she worries about losing her health insurance because of pre-existing condition. She hasn’t let family of friends know how hard it is to make ends meet because she hates “bothering people” by asking for help.

 

Permission #1

Give yourself permission to take the time you need to heal.

Ask for what you need.

Don’t rush. You don’t have to immediately be back to full “productiveness.” Your body and your mind have been surviving a shock and trauma. Don’t underestimate the impact it’s had. Don’t over schedule or push yourself.

Try this Affirmation: 

I am gentle with myself. I am still healing. I am taking the time I need.

I Think It’s Brave

 

I Think It’s Brave

 

i think it’s brave

i think it’s brave that you get up in the morning even if your soul is weary and your bones ache for a rest

i think it’s brave that you keep on living
even if you don’t know how to anymore

i think it’s brave that you push away the waves rolling in every day
and you decide to fight

i know there are days when you feel like giving up but
i think it’s brave
that you never do

by Lana Rafaela

What Cancer Leaves Behind

Have you seen this video produced by the Mental Health Channel at the University of Texas?

It’s worth a look because in less than 6 minutes it encapsulates many of the feelings cancer survivors face.

Robyn, a PhD student at UT who had endometrial cancer, speaks eloquently about the duality of going about her daily business, while having an entirely different awareness of the fragility of life.

Check it out: http://mentalhealthchannel.tv/episode/what-cancer-leaves-behind

In your experience, what does cancer leave behind?

Unafraid

Unafraid.  It’s what cancer survivors long to feel.

What would your days and nights be like if you felt unafraid?

Unfortunately, fear of recurrence is one of the most common, distressing and least addressed side effects of having cancer.

This was the result of a recent survey I conducted of the cancer survivors in my JoyBoots community.

Think of it.  For all the grueling treatments, invasive procedures, damage to the body, and let’s face it, real physical pain, psychological suffering and emotional fallout are the most distressing. 

Does this surprise you?

I’ve been tracking this fear within myself for the past 10 years and seeing it in my cancer survivor clients.

Here are a few heartfelt expressions of the fear of recurrence:

How do I quiet the circular thinking of “the better I feel, the less I trust my body not to betray me again?” How do I keep perspective?

How can I feel safe in my body and in my life?

How do I get past my panic, especially in middle of night, which prevents sleep, which affects my health?

How do I face the possibility of not being there for my children?

 

So what can help people “live well with uncertainty?”

In my experience, living well with uncertainty means pulling yourself back into this present moment and appreciating the NOW. And it also lies in surrendering the notion that you can control the future.  The future will be here soon enough – what you have now is this moment.  What are you going to do with it?

Living well also means rebuilding your physical and emotional energy. Being motivated to stay in the game.

And I believe there is an emotional cure in company.  Company who listen, understand, and join you when you are in a dark place, so you don’t feel so alone with the universal fear of mortality that cancer brings into sharp focus.  In fact, in company, you may temporarily experience that feeling you long for of being Unafraid.

 

 

 

 

Kelly’s Podcast On Emotional Healing

Emotional suffering and mental health challenges are side effects of the cancer experience that often go unaddressed.

Your life is turned upside down by the shock of the diagnosis, and grueling treatments affect your nervous system, hormones, sleep, range of movement and body function. Relationships are tested and financial worries take center stage. Sometimes there is lingering pain. Always there is some fear of recurrence or spreading.

Your medical team is rightly focused on eliminating or holding the cancer at bay. And many cancer patients and survivors are fortunate to be supported and cared for by loving communities.

Yet survivors sometimes feel a pressure to minimize how deeply they are emotionally impacted, in an attempt to “stay positive” or “spiritual” and to avoid making others uncomfortable by sharing their physical and/or emotional pain.

I’m on a mission to address emotional recovery in the cancer experience so that people can move past the “new normal” with vitality. I was recently delighted to be interviewed by the Therapist Uncensored Podcast about my 6 Principles for Emotional Recovery after Cancer. Check it out:

http://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu63/